"I read your book. When you get through, you (a reader) say, 'If I
could just get a nuclear device inside Foggy Bottom, I think that's
the answer.' I mean, you get through this, and you say, 'We've got to
blow that thing up." I mean, is it as bad as you say?". --Pat Robertson, Christian terrorist

Going to public school one might have experienced some interesting field trips. Perhaps a trip to the zoo, maybe a factory to see how things were done, or maybe a forest reserve to talk with a wildlife expert who didn't have an Aussie accent. However if you went to Catholic school your field trips blew goats because you had to go to A Better Choice Pregnancy Crisis Center. What fun that would be. You go with your classmates (boys went yesterday, today it was the ladies) and get to see an actual sonogram machine. Then you get to watch an exciting video on abortions. Woo-hoo! And some people can't understand why we don't want public funds going to Catholic schools. At least some of the girls learned where they can go for their free pregnancy test which they'll need after prom, and they'll learn where to go after the test when they learn they are preggers.

Some didn't care to be there which was apparent on their faces.

A few couldn't help but glance over to us quite often. Perhaps they were being told how we are handmaid's of the devil or some crap like that. Perhaps they were saying we were some kind of godless sluts willing to put out for anyone. Whatever they said many of the girls seemed quite interested. Or perhaps the ten minute tour of the parking lot couldn't hold their interest for very long.

They didn't hang out for very long, perhaps the teachers thought having the Rex Machine around might tempt these girls too much so they scuttled them inside in order to tell them what the Pope wanted them to do with their vaginas.

Also there trying to get their extra credit with Jehovah was part-time protestor, full-time beggar Troy Newman with a new regional coordinator. Where has Timmy been? Probably put his pants on backwards and pissed himself again. Also was ol' Sweaty Bob, Brenna and Randy. Ho hum. About the time Troy showed up with his out of state license plates so did Frankendork. I could say that maybe it wasn't a coincidence and Troy was banging her but I highly doubt Troy is into beastality.

Have I ever mentioned how ugly Frankendork is? Let me give you an example. Have you ever been outside and put a Barbie doll in a fire? Well Frankendork is like the dog crap that you stepped in on your way to that fire.

Well Troy had nothing bright to say today but that's not exactly newsworthy. Spunky spent her time crank calling Randy on his cell phone just to see how often he'd pick up. Oh don't worry, Randy got a laugh out of it. We saw Sweaty Bob search around in his pocket for his cell phone. After about five minutes of searching with no results we realized he didn't have a cell phone but just sticky pants that weren't sticky five minutes ago.

Okay, how disgusting is Frankendork? Have you ever lifted a trash bag with a leak and get garbage water all over your leg? For some reason that Jabba the Hut stand in felt like yelling at a medical equipment saleslady telling her not to get an abortion. Did I mention how she wasn't bright?

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