"One who breaks an unjust law must do it openly, loving and with a willingness to accept the penalty. I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail to arouse the conscience of the community over it's injustice, is in reality expressing the very highest respect for the law" --Dr. Martin Luther King

Unless, of course, you are Daniel Thompson and face a $50 fine then you must proclaim your innocence and lie your ass off in court because Christian principles are one thing but they aren't worth $50.

Let's take a trip back in time. Let's go waaaaaaaay back to September 14, 2002. It was back then self-proclaimed reverend Daniel Thompson was arrested for impeding traffic as they went into a women's health clinic. Although the crime was a mere misdemeanor Thompson believed he was exempt from the law because he was a "true Christian" ordained by God to break laws for Jesus. So we need to jump 11 months from them to now, when the case was finally decided.

It was hardly a courtroom drama on the level of the Scopes trial but it was entertaining nonetheless. In a previous court date three officers involved in the arrest all attested to Thompson being the criminal and all three presented the same testimony. The testimony was that they were called to the clinic to respond to a call (it was when a religious zealot brutally attacked a civilian not involved with the clinic, the escorts or the protestors) when they saw Dan walking in front of a mini-van stopping traffic from going into the clinic. The car was traveling from Kellogg street southward to the clinic.

The trial was postponed until August and it was yesterday that Dan took the stand. Dan lied his ass off in order to protect himself despite swearing an oath to God that he would tell the truth. This is how shallow fundies are. When it comes to protecting their ass or serving their God they will protect their ass first. Dan lied when he said the woman filming a documentary was an employ of Dr. Tiller's (the documentary can be purchased through this website). She was a film student simply doing her film school project about clinic violence in Wichita. He also lied when he said the traffic he stopped was going South to North, contrary to three police officers testimony.

The reason for this lie is because if the traffic was going North he couldn't possibly have stopped the traffic when he was jaywalking in front of the car. He claimed he actually walked behind the car to approach the window to provide anti-abortion materials. I suppose he was planning on opening the back door or something. Dan's attorney tried to support this lie but the presiding Justice of the Peace wisely made notes during the police testimony and didn't fall for the historical revision tactics of Dan.

The city prosecutor did a brilliant job. She pointed out that Dan was illegally crossing the street for no other purpose than to cross the street constantly. Going off previous testimony by Dan's attorney who said Dan had a great working

relationship with the police and received numerous warnings the city prosecutor pointed out that there must have been something severely different that day to break that great working relationship that had existed for 2.5 years. When she asked Dan why that was Dan refused to provide a straight answer claiming he couldn't speak for somebody else, although he has no problem doing so behind the pulpit or on the street when he yells at women as sluts who are just getting abortions for convenience.

What put the nine inch nail in Dan's case was the law that Dan broke. The argument for the defense was that impeding traffic meant that traffic had to come to a complete standstill and be unable to enter the clinic. However the law says nothing to that effect and simply slowing down traffic (the car actually had to stop) would suffice.

As a result the Judge found Dan guilty. Since there was no minimum fine set in the ordinance he just got away with a $50 fine and court costs. Dan has 10 days to appeal. Knowing how arrogant and self-righteous he is he might just appeal a measley $50 fine.

Dan had been arrested at the clinic before for blocking traffic. Most notably he was arrested with Kevin Stanfield during the so-called Summer of Mercy. The city decided not to press charges acting on good faith that Dan would respect the laws in the future. Dan proves you can't take a FFF at his word.

But that's not the end of the Dan story for that day. The same day Dan played the Christian martyr of the week he went on his weekly crusade with tax cheats at Spirit One Christian Center to protest porn shops.

At first the Maggot Punks along with the Goon Squad met these sexual frustrated master debaters at a porn shop nearby Spirit One. The well organized protest managed five protestors who were outnumbered by the porn shop customers. Spunky and D-cubed went in pretending to be customers to catch their reaction. One blueball nut told D-cubed, "Do you think she'll be thinking of you when she goes in there?" Well Spunky was in there to get a bag so she probably was thinking of D-cubed. As a result of the protestors D-cubed got the latest issue of Playboy and read it in front of them. The protestors weren't too bright (duh!) nor very interesting so the bunch of us went to a porn shop being protested on 21st St.

There we saw no other than the false prophet and ex-con Dan Thompson. Again Spunky and D-cubed went inside as customers. Spunky got a gumball in a gumball machine. When going in one of the pocket pool grandchampions kept muttering "Sin, sin, what's in there is sin." The unwashed, undereducated dimwit next to him must have been an example of purity.

We struck up some pointless conversation with the neanderthal academia. D-cubed pointed out to one of the "respecter of women" in Lev. chapter 16 where it says good Christians must lock up women in a seperate room when they are menstrating. This teaches that women are inferior and their natural cleansing mechanisms are something to be ashamed of. Of course the knowledgable fundies never believed it was in the Bible despite it being pointed out to them. They also had to be educated that the Bible says rabbits chew their cud in Lev. 11:6. Of course their book of wisdom tells them to oppose pornography but while going through Leviticus there were numerous sexual references and passages about nudity. I guess Christian porn is preferable to secular porn for some reason.

Spunky started a "discussion" with Thompson. Dan must have been irritable about being found guilty in court as he just lashed out in anger with insult after insult (naturally referred to as presenting the gospel of Jesus in a loving Christian manner). Dan started foaming at the mouth about how D-cubed and Spunky were so evil that there was absolutely nothing good in their hearts. Although unable to say anything about what his arresting officer thought he was able to look inside Spunky and Cubed and say we were completely devoid of any humanity, charity, morals and good intentions concluding that we were absolute evil. He went on about how he was so much superior because he went down to a low level to find salvation.

why people need to read magazines like this or else...

When asked if Dan's salvation ended in a moneyshot he just looked more confused and dumbfounded than usual. Despite Spunky's many hours spent volunteering for Habitat For Humanity building houses for the homeless Dan said she ispure evil. Of course Dan is a racist and convicted criminal whose job is to condemn people different than him and get real working people's money for being a loud-mouthed offensive asshole (comedians do that do but they get laughs for being funny, Dan gets them for being pathetic).

So it was no wonder when five intelligent opinionated women approached him he got so defensive. He teaches women that they are bitches to do the man's bidding. He considers women whores and men are God's official pimps. For the Bible says women should be silent in church and the whole world is Dan's church. To Dan women are to be silent, obedient and never question his authority. The women that day made Dan look like a complete moron. He was proven to be a hypocrite, a liar and a pathetic, angry little man. We'll see Dan in the future and maybe he'll need a roll of quarters to cover the fact that strong, independent women castrated him this day. As I said that day, Dan you are a racist ass with legs who smells and spews shit out of your mouth whenever you talk. About the only good thing I can say about you is you know how to keep your whites white and well starched. Have fun at your Kooky Kristian Klub you racist manbitch knobpolisher. Spunky will sew a special orange jumpsuit for you and be sure to crack those rocks nicely, I want to see my face shining on them in the morning.

Book of the Day: Governing Morals: A Social History of Moral Regulation by Alan Hunt

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