From the point of view of a tapeworm, man was created by God to serve the appetite of the tapeworm. --Edward Abbey

September 14, 2002
Daniel Thompson Gets Arrested!

At last it is Saturday at the clinic again. For over a month the clinic had been closed. The fundies had given god credit for this but in reality the doctor didn't feel like working on Saturdays for a while. But we were open again on this especially cloudy day but events at the clinic brightened everything for us.


Rico Suave
was back at his post screaming at patients. He was so loud in the morning that his voice echoed without the presence of cars to block the sound waves. Dressed in his red pajamas and white shirt he looked like a Hispanic Santa Claus. With him he had trespasser and woman beater Marcus. On this special day was an independent filmer from Britain who was making a documentary on clinic escorts. She had gone near Marcus and Rico only to be greeted by being physically attacked. On behalf of all Americans I apologize for the behavior of the fanatical fundy freaks but this sort of behavior is common amongst religious zealots. As a result we had to call the police on these thugs.


So the police came and took information on Marcus. They knew about him after D-cubed showed the officer a picture. Apparently Marcus and the police have a time of confrontations. While the police were getting finished with Marcus they spied the most unrevered Reverend Dan standing in the street blocking cars. The police went to Dan and got him out of the road. Trying to plead ignorant the police didn't buy his latest attempt at not knowing the law. As a result Dan got handcuffed, patted down, put in the backseat of the police car and taken to jail. It should have been done a long time ago. Joker impressionist Donna Lipholdt remarked how the police were showing off for the camera and that the doctor had plenty of money to throw around. I wonder if she'll take her accusation that the police are taking graft payments all the way to court? Probably not. The attempt at suing D-cubed for hearing loss and her attempt to get Scarlett arrested for saying "fuck" didn't go over very well. So the rest of the day she just pouted. I was hoping for some tears so we could see the mascara run just like Tammy Faye. Trying to be a big shot like Dan, Donna started to block cars. She quit after the first car almost knocked her on her fat ass when she put her hands on the car hood. Every time they get arrested they get a bonus in their paychecks to cover the fine costs.


A very poor representative of Hispanics, Rico stands in the sprinklers and shouts at patients.

Marcus experiences cognition for the fist time in his life.

Also fed up with the police was fellow thug Kevin Stanfeld. He said some insult to the police after they drove by. We told him to go tell the police to their faces. He said he would, but when the second cop car drove by his lips were sealed shut. He went up to D-cubed who had just told butt ugly Donna to stop blocking cars to respect other people. D-cubed told the little shit to get out of his face. Kevin got so infuriated he had to go to Choices and pace back and forth in the parking lot to cool off. Apparently he has a bit of an anger management problem and did what the therapist told him to do in these situations. No surprise a guy with a bible up his ass (literally) would have issues with his temper.


Soon after the cult leader Dan was arrested the fundies started to break up. Many went home and many more simply went down to the street corner since they were outnumbered by the Courageous Champions of Choice. All the patients had gone in for the day so we were about to call it quits then the Catholic Youth Brigade showed up. School has started up again so now it is time for the stupid Catholic school students to show up for extra credit. A new child molester, I mean priest, actually I mean child molester supporter, was leading the crew.

The group stood on two sides of the entrance and had dueling chants. Then the Maggot Punks had their own dueling chant. On one side we said "Taste's great!" the other side responded with, "Less filling!". The students were amused and increased the volume of their chants.


Noticeably absent today was Midnight Snacker Brad Bennett. After talking tough on Friday he decided he had enough of the Maggot Punks that he'd stay home and record a 10 minute long Godarchy message. Contrary to what Brad thinks there is no back door at the clinic, Bonnie wasn't running away from Jeff the drunk moron, and Jeff wasn't boldly standing outside the clinic, he turned tail and ran leaving the two women he was left alone to fend for themselves. Remember Braddykins it's all on tape.

Since the doofi gave us an unprecedented amount of visual entertainment today, we have decided to post a few more pictures than usual.


Dan Thompson is searched after being placed under arrest. Troy Newman will probably have to do something even worse to show he is a better Christian than Dan.
Click on a thumbnail to see the larger image!

 

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Book of the day: The True Believer (Eric Hoffer)

 

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