There isn't enough clown makeup to go around. Clinic support was utterly bored today as the fundies shied away from the clinic entrance. Sensing courage they stuck to their street corners and preached to sound proof walls in an effort to get them to repaint for their sins. Not that we were complaining, all the patients entered unmolested, but the fundies are our source of entertainment.

Tunes were changing as Troy Newman pulled up in his trash truck. The scrapes on the top of the wiener wagon revealed he still hasn't achieved his goal of raising $5,000 for some $200 signs to put on the truck. "It's in Omaha," announced Troy. Apparently they must send a blank truck to Omaha to express to the people there that they have nothing original or inspiring to say.

Always as couple steps behind Troy is his patsy Tim who still doesn't understand the reference to South Park when I addressed him by "Timmy!" Amused when I said, "Dumb man walking," ol' Timmy Tim Tim Taroo was once again stupefied and couldn't pronounce a witty comeback other than, "No you are." Jeez, I'm dealing with a schoolyard nimrod.

You think that after years of being the butt of jokes he'd have something to come back with above the level of 'sticks and stones…' Alas, I believe Troy hangs around Tim just to make himself feel more intelligent. It shows. While Troy's eyes contain the spark of intelligence Stephen Hawking needs only to stare into the gaze of Tim to find that mysterious dark matter of the universe that seems to suck up any illumination that passes through. If light bulbs were as dim as him then there would be no energy shortages.

I gave Timmy a little pop quiz. I had handed to him in the previous week a little pamphlet I wrote about criticisms of young earth creationism. Tim had taken two copies so I had confidence that he would have read at least one of them. Alas, during quiz time I asked him how far was the nearest galaxy of Andromeda. He couldn't answer the question but rather wanted to know if I flossed this morning. Poor ol' stupid Tim. I asked him about the speed of light, so he responded about something about how I'm the president of the Kansas Atheist Society (I'm state director of American Atheists in Kansas, not even close). Poor ol' stupid Tim failed the pop quiz. The answers are in the pamphlet. The answer to number one is 2.2 million light years. The answer to number two is 186,000 miles per second.

Not terribly difficult but such knowledge would disrupt Tim's ignorant belief the universe is only 10,000 years old. Yet Rin Tim Timmy attempts to convey that he has knowledge about biology and medicine as well as religion but can't accept something as

basic as the speed of light. If this is the brain trust of the anti-abortion movement the Courageous Champions of Choice have nothing to fear from their intellectual prowess.

Is it wrong to be amused by the ignorance of others? In some cases yes, in some cases no. To make fun of a retarded person or a young child for not knowing something is wrong. After all, they have an excuse. One has a diminished capacity for learning, the other is too young to have learned much at all. However in Tim's case he is willfully ignorant. One of the few people in the world who can prove that a lobotomy does not require an incision. It is perfectly acceptable to laugh at people who purposely make themselves stupid, that's why shows like Jackass and America's Funniest Home Videos are so popular.

The Wichita Chronicle ran a story in its September 2002 issue called Your Lovely Liver written by Kristy Schrag DHM. On page 27 of the Chronicale, Kristy writes "Do you realize that your liver is the largest and most hard-working organ in your body?"

No, Kristy, in fact we were not aware of that. Had you actually gone to medical school, you would have learned that the skin is the largest

human organ and the heart is the most hardworking We would like to commend the chronicle for its choice of "expert" medical writers. Guess this is what Tim reads to gain his vast scientific knowledge.

In case you were wondering, DHM stands for Doctor of Homeopathic Medicine. To learn more about these frauds, you can read the Georgia Council Against Health Fraud's dictionary of metaphysical medicine.

Over the last month god seems to have lifted the "veil of protection" from his own followers. In Ladysmith WI, a tornado destroyed a Baptist church. In Rochester MN, a Christian radio station had its tower struck by lightening. Despite all of the thunder storms and tornado's here in Wichita, nothing has happened to either of our abortion clinics. Perhaps god needs to work on his aim.

The brain trust hard at work!

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