"To interpret what a baby leaves in his diaper reflects a mentally ill person." -- Dr. Park Dietz commenting on the absurd behavior of Christian fundamentalist and pro-lifer Deanna Laney who stoned her three children because God told her to.

March 31, 2004
Jerkin' it for Jesus

It is getting to be a proven fact that being a religious nut and being around children is not a good mix. The premier nut of the week has to be Deanna Laney who smashed her three children's heads with a rock because...dadadada bing! God told her to! God must have told Catholic millionaire to seek the priesthood by having sex with underage prostitutes, and God must have certainly told Sweaty Bob to play pocket pool at the clinic while thinking of little children. Oh yes, that all happened too. Just shows how much the antis care for children. Oh yes, they love them, they wish they could love them often without the police busting them for being pedophiles or murderers. O.J. Simpson really loved his ex-wife, loved her as much as Deanna Laney loved her children. The Lambs of Christ, who shut down Dr. Tiller's clinic (well that's what Troy Newman said they were going to do), sent the teenagers and younger to dive on and in front of cars to prevent them from going into the clinic. Using children as speed bumps proves that they only care about fetuses, not children. The antis hate children, the only value they have for antis is political tools.

Okay, we get to the clinic and Bob is jerkin' it. Other than that Dixie was screaming as usual. Dixie even screamed at women who weren't pregnant to not get an abortion, because Dixie knows everything about everybody. She wasn't terribly successful at convincing a man to give up his career in hip-hop/rap to join her in stopping abortion. She also wasn't successful in stopping a couple from leaving A Better Choice and going into the clinic. The couple must have entered A Better Choice and been there for at least a good hour because D-cubed, who got there at 9:00 didn't see them go in, but they were seen coming out after 10:00. They had apparently gone into the wrong building but the anti-choice advocates forced them to stay. That's freedom of choice for the antis, listen to sermons in a locked room against your will. That is what we would call holding people against their will.

Clinic bomber Cheryl Sullenger was present with her Terrorist in Training (TIT) Rayna. They didn't stay long, perhaps it was because their fear filled leader Troy Newman didn't show up. It's not like any of them had a job to go to since they get pay rolled by Operation Rescue and their illegal $250,000 they raise every year. After holding a sign and looking fat for an hour they scampered away.

Things were looking dim, we only had Dixie and Bob to make fun of. Eventually the Bead Brigade came around to rattle their beads at the clinic that was shut

down last week. Oh wait, nothing fails like prayer, I forgot. Dickie, as usual, got all riled up and accusedD-cubed of trespassing because his ass was over the clinic line. D-cubed doesn't have an ass so it was quite impossible for it to be over the line. Why Dickie was checking out his ass is beyond us, perhaps the same reason fundies obsess about gay sex, they like to be repulsed. Yup, the say repulsed when they mean to say sexually aroused. D-cubed would rather not think about Dickie popping some Viagra and wishing D-cubed would dress up as an altar boy.

Jenny came by to "homeschool" her daughter Lauren at the clinic. None of us know what class she was teaching but she drags the poor child out to the place where they "kill children" every other week as a learning exercise. When queried about Lauren's education about physics and chemistry ubermoron Jenny said, "I guess we'll have to learn together." Oh yeah, that's reassuring. We have an uneducated dumbass trying to educate the next generation. No wonder she drags the kid off to the clinic, she isn't learning a damn thing at home. What does a fundy kid need to learn anyway? Just some Bible reading and how to do kegels because it

helps pop the babies out after she gets married at the age of 14. Kansas needs some basic requirements for homeschooled children so we don't produce another generation of mindless Wal-Mart shoppers who think watches tick because they are magical. I should mention Jenny is a dumbass. I say dumbass with sincere apologies to dumbasses who thought they weren't as stupid as this dumbass. For some reason Jenny thought she'd rub up against D-cubed. Now Cubed hasn't had any female contact in awhile and thanks to Jenny he won't miss it for another 10 months. She was eager to run down the alley way to yell at a fence to get an ultrasound. Honestly, the bitch talked to the fence. Okay, there was somebody on the other side of the fence but he wasn't going to get an ultrasound because men can't get pregnant. I didn't think I'd have to mention the obvious but antis read this page so I should

remind them that men have penises and women have vaginas. It's true, I saw it in a movie once, but antis didn't see it because it didn't have two hours of people beating the shit out of some Jew.

It was a strange coincidence. Mr. Zero and Cubed were just thinking "Do you think we punked Jeff Herzog out?" Cubed thought in the affirmative, Zero was a bit more skeptical. After all, Jeff got his ass kicked when he violently attacked Cubed and Annie Sprinkles from behind many months ago. However, much to Zero's chagrin Homo Obsesses Neanderthals walked up the parking lot. One think I gotta say is that asshole has some great posture, that comes from having a crucifix stuck so far up your ass you can feel Jesus on your tonsils. He didn't want to talk to us, he was so serious. He was thinking, "By golly I'm gonna shut down this clinic today by golly I wish I remember what I was thinking about. I like those spongemonkeys on that commercial thing. Right foot, then left foot, oh yeah, that's how it's done." Did I forget to mention this guy is a fucking moron? He didn't appear so stupid today because he kept his bitch mouth shut.

Book of the day: Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass: An American Slave by Frederick Douglass

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