"I would like us to send a message that we stand with our neighbors who happen to be Catholic." -- Chimp Gramke

Chimp who isn't Catholic opposes a statue made by a Catholic but Chimp is a fundy so he knows what everyone is thinking, including superintendent Winston Brooks (also a Catholic) who supports the statue. Chimp had no problem offending Atheists by displaying In God We Trust posters in the school and trying to require all teachers and students to participate in mandatory moments of silence. You're an asshole Chimp, now go throw your feces at someone.

You may notice that the date of this issue is March 3. Today is actually March 5. We debated about the title of the article today. We almost called it "so much stupidity, so little time." Perhaps since 'Passion was released recently, the dipshits felt more energized with delusions than usual. As you will see, they gave us so much material that it was hard to even know where to begin. Not only that, the Maggot Punks have jobs that contribute to the betterment of society unlike Troy Newman who simply leaches off of vulnerable old women with savings accounts and makes a nice living as a slum lord.

Last few issues have been rather dull with the fundies clamming up (usually a good thing). Today, as the Maggot Punks went forth to defend the reproductive rights of women and we expected another slow day with the rain and lower temperatures. However that all changed with the arrival of Kevin Stanfield, Daniel Thompson's assistant pester, um pastor. Having Dixie Selenke pace back and forth muttering to invisible movie characters is funny, but having two people do it is just plain pathetic. Throw a robe and pajamas on them and you'll think they are mental patients, throw a Bible in their hands and they become born again Christians.

Mr Zero, eager for a whipping boy queried Stanfield

about his positions on the Bible. Do rabbits chew their cud as mentioned in Lev. 11:6 and Deut 14:7? Karen Myers says they do (read the article). Kevin insisted that Rabbits do, in fact, chew their cud and then quickly changed the subject to child sacrifice in the bible. He read from Lev 20:1-7 and said that the passage somehow applied to reproductive rights. It reads:

1) And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 2) Again, thou shalt say to the children of Israel, Whosoever he be of the children of Israel, or of the strangers that sojourn in Israel, that giveth any of his seed unto Molech; he shall surely be put to death: the people of the land shall stone him with stones. 3) And I will set my face against that man, and will cut him off from among his people; because he hath given of his seed unto Molech, to defile my sanctuary, and to profane my holy name. 4) And if the people of the land do any ways hide their eyes from the man, when he giveth of his seed unto Molech, and kill him not:

5) Then I will set my face against that man, and against his family, and will cut him off, and all that go a whoring after him, to commit whoredom with Molech, from among their people. 6) And the soul that turneth after such as have familiar spirits, and after wizards, to go a whoring after them, I will even set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people. 7) Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy: for I am the LORD your God.

Interestingly enough, the same chapter also forbids sex during the menstrual cycle and demands that adulators be put to death.

The Rex Machine asked Kevin how the ritualistic sacrifice of children applied to rabbits chewing their cud or abortion. When Rex pressed the issue with legitimate questions, Stanfield simply called him a fool. Stanfield said that because we didn't have the Jesus in our hearts, we were incapable of interpreting the Bible. This prompted Mr Zero to ask Kevin to read another passage from his bible and he refused. Had Stanfield followed Mr Zero's advice, he would have read Matthew 5:22 which reads:

...but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

Click here (42.7MB 7:09) to watch a a video account of the entire conversation. From that moment on, when any question about the Bible was put forth Kevin remained quiet.

However when it came to predicting the future of everyone going into the clinic Kevin predicted up a storm just like the sorcerers that Bible commands be put to death (Deut 18:10-11 and Lev 20:27). He just knew what they were going to experience in five years, how they were all going to be consumed with guilt and use drugs and alcohol to deal with their depression. He was just sure that they would get in fights and get a divorce, assuming they were married of course. Of course he couldn't ever mention any of their names; spirits of divination are picky that way. Click here (24.4MB 3:16) to watch a video of Kevin Stanfield making 11 separate statements that would require sorcery and/or divination.

Shortly after this, we noticed a high dollar SUV with Washington state licence tags pull up the ally. This could only be Troy "boy" Newman! The Maggot Punks approached his car. He reved his engine in a threatening manner and then said "if I wasn't pro-life, you would be a speed bump." Then he resorted to a little name calling and bravely parked his truck in the

ally next to the property he bought for 5 times its value with his supporters donations. While the Maggot punks were standing in front of his car, he refused to get out. He waited until we went back to mess with Kevin and Dixie to get out. This is another example in a long line of how we have manipulated Troy and his cronies to our every whim. Click here (3.5MB 0:25)to watch a video of the whole pathetic incident.

Speaking of manipulating fundies, at some point Kevin and Dixie became ashamed of what they were doing. Mr Zero tried to get shots of their faces (yes he is a bit masochistic that way) but they kept using their umbrella's to shield themselves from the lens. Click here (1.5MB 0:20)to watch a video of the laughingly predictable FFF's

Shouting at the clinic wall about how he would take their children, then joined in by fellow lunatic Dixie the police were called to deal with the disorderly conduct. After being warned several times by the clinic security guard, the police showed up and they decided to ignore the officers. Dixie and Kevin kept their backs to them with the hopes they would go away. When that brilliant tactic failed Kevin demanded they do

their jobs and go in and arrest everyone for murder. He declared that he has no intention of following the law as he is only bound to God's law and everyone else should be to. It should be noted that Kevin has been arrested in the past for blocking clinic access. Kevin insisted that the laws of man did not apply to him. He also demanded that the police officers present "reject the law of man and go in there and arrest the baby killing faggots." When the police refused to commit numerous felonies to aid Stanfield in his attempt to squash the constitution, he became indigent and told the officers that they would burn in hell. Mr Zero, unfamiliar with video camera battery conservation techniques, was unable to get a video of this conversation. This is just another example of how the FFF's fail to follow the teachings of their own bible. 1 Peter 2:13-16:

13) Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as

supreme; 14) Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well. 15) For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men: 16) As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.

During this time Troy Newman was filming the entire episode quite amused that one of Daniel Thompson's goons would be such an embarrassment (been there before eh Troy?). Troy was looking all spiffy for the media today as his court case in Bel Aire takes place tonight. Mr Zero and D-cubed brought up the list of other crimes Troy is currently involved in. Not only has Troy violated the moving sign laws in Bel Aire and Wichita, he filed a false address with the police, keeps an out of state license plate on his Cherokee, failed to register his charity with the state (he claimed to never even raised $10,000 then lied again and declared he raised much more than $250,000, but lying isn't immoral to a fundamentalist Christian) which is a direct violation of Kansas statue 17-1760 and 17-1762 of the charitable organizations and solicitations act. As long as Troy sits on a big chest of finances and is backed with lawyers from the American Family Association he won't give up because he knows he'll never have to deal with any prison time or put up his own money. Click here (8.6MB 1:16) to see a video of Troy saying "I'm pretty damn good" and claming, first, that he did not raise $250,000 and then claiming he raised "way more than that". It should be noted that in a Seattle Times Article, Troy claimed to have raised over $250,000. More lies for Jesus.

Present on the scene earlier was the clinic bombing family of Cheryl and Rayna Sullenger. Cheryl has watched a lot of television while in the pen. From numerous Matlock and CSI shows she observed that it must have been Mr Zero's shoes that left imprints on the grass a few weeks ago so she took a picture of his shoes. She may be planning on making a cast of the grass and using that as evidence to prove Mr Zero vandalized the anti-abortion clinic with gang graffiti as well as Troy Newman's sign. Mr Zero tried having a conversation with her (he just won't learn will he?) about the vandalism to the sign. He inquired about the paint job on the reverse side of the sign. Cheryl pretended like she didn't know what he was talking about and suggested that he was spilling details about the crime that only the criminal would know. Despite the fact that it is obvious to a retarded gorilla that the sign was cut and painted, this must be proof positive that Mr Zero was the perpetrator. The Maggot Punks even have a photo of the sign with paint all over it. Yup, she'll make a cast of a footprint on grass, too bad shoes don't leave imprints on grass you fat fuck. Click here (10.5MB 1:33) to watch a video of the Court TV educated detective conducting her investigation. Speaking more on the subject of fat fucks it was observed that whenever the brutalistic, McDonald's supersized mother was around Rayna would keep quiet. That's not surprising in abusive households. When Cheryl went away we questioned Rayna about her position on gay marriage. She was reluctant to answer and gave us a no comment response. We did our best to hook her up with the Rex Machine but Rex got turned down. Better luck next time Rex.

We'll keep you informed on how Troy Newman's court case turns out. The Maggot Punks have some contacts within KAKE Channel 10 so we may be able to get you more news than what is seen on the television.

Book of the day: 40 Watts from Nowhere: A Journey into Pirate Radio by Sue Carpenter

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